I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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