remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Randomize
