It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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