Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Randomize
