& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
What drink are we having for lunch?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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