I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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