We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Randomize
