he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
