I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
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