"it" just moved
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
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