So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
