I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
