if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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