I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
