the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
