He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
