I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
