we have pet lesbian snakes
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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