P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
