i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
