the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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