Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
What a dumb baby whore.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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