I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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