PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Randomize
