I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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