Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
