were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
