You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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