Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
