well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
