first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
You've changed since you got that strap on
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
