I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
