It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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