Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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