Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up�
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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