she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
