are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
