Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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