Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
