Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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