i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I can feel your judgement through the phone
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
