my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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