So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
