I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
This is my gift to your gina
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
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