We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
