I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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