He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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