I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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