Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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