haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize
